I am beginning to understand that I am more than I see here in this physical body. I acknowledge that there is a larger part of me – a source energy part of me – that is truly the essence of who I am. –
And I accept that a part of that Consciousness is now flowing in this physical body and so there is a sort of duality going on within me where I have this stable beginning and becoming and then there is the part of me that is focused here in this physical body and I understand with clarity the value of the two parts of that which I am.
I can feel the eternalness of who I really am and I can feel the specifics of who I am in this Human form on this leading edge time/space platform. And I am beginning to feel appreciation for the contrast that surrounds me that once I condemned, now I embrace, because I can feel that the contrast is inspiring yet another new idea from me.
And I remember feeling a new idea being born within me and hating the birthing of it, because it was an idea that I did not believe and, therefore, it brought me pain. But now I am experiencing the thrill of giving birth to ideas and even though I don’t know how or when or who it will come about, I don’t no where, I don’t have the details of how it will unfold. I do have faith or belief in the laws of the universe and I am knowing that I am a creator who, having given birth to this idea, will be given all of the advantages of the resources of source in order to accomplish it.
So while I stand in this place of wanting something that I have no way of figuring out how it is going to be, I am feeling soothed in the Awareness of it. No, more than soothed. I not only feel soothed about having given birth to an idea of something that I want. I am feeling enlivened by it because the larger part of me knows unequivocally that I am the creator of my own experience and that larger part of me is not only looking at it and agreeing with it, but has become the vibrational equivalent of it. In fact, the larger part of me has already become what I am asking for and so now it is only a matter of the rest of me catching up with it. And now that I know what I know, I don’t think this is going to be too much trouble.
When I move in the direction of catching up with it, I feel better. And when I move in opposition of catching up with it, I feel worse. And I am so sensitive to the way that I am feeling these days. I am so proud of myself because I am aware of when I am going with the flow and when I am not. I am aware of when I am moving downstream and when I am moving upstream. I can feel when I am letting myself be who I have become and I can feel when I am not letting myself be who I have become.
And I am no longer mad at myself in the moments that I am not letting myself be who I have become because those moments only help me to know the difference in the guidance system. I can feel I am actually moulding the clay. I am finally in the place where I don’t need to be the manifested receiver of everything that I want all at once because I know that it is all coming, that there will be a time that I will not be sending more rockets of desire into my future.
I am finally beginning to get it that I never get it done and I cannot get it wrong, because everything that I am living is causing an expansion and I can tell by the way I feel whether I am moving toward that expansion or not.
Finally, I am beginning to understand that it was never about the fulfilment of the manifestation anyway. These things that I want are only my target to focus upon so that I can ride this river of life. I am fulfilled in the knowing that I am expanding and I am thrilled in the knowledge that I will never get it done. And I am satisfied – deeply satisfied – with where I am.
I am thrilled in knowing that I am where I am and that I am putting the boat in the water wherever I am and my knowledge that the stream is flowing downstream – ever flowing – toward all that I have become is enough for me to feel satisfaction in where I am. No more will I nitpick as I measure the distance between where I am and where I want to be. Instead, I flow on this joyous river and I experience the exhilarating feeling of motion toward my expansion.
I can feel that the source within me loves me and adores me and has become the expanded version and I can feel that there is no remorse or discomfort whatsoever in the being of my source. My source not for a moment looks at me where I stand and compares where I am to where it is and mocks me in the not achievement. Instead, the source within me that is expanded as a result of what I have lived stands in loving appreciation of all that I have become and calls me never endingly toward it.
And now I get it that that’s what life is. That the duality of me, that the source energy that was willing to come forth that expanded out further and now the physical part of me that’s willing to catch up, I now get my place in this universe. I am important to the expansion of the universe and it is time for me to receive the benefit of my expansion and now I know how.
ALEXK
Adventurer – Critic – Photographer