In school you wanted to score well in mathematics and you studied all the time. Why could not you score well in mathematics? Were you really stupid or something?

You loved playing badminton and spend all the time playing with your brother, but your friends from school were great at football.

Why could not you play football when everyone else could?

You wanted to be a designer, create something beautiful, but your friends were great at debating.

Why could not you be as confident as they were?

The pain of losing, the shame of being rejected, the self-doubt that sets in when you have been denied, they all teach you how emotional pain can feel far worse than physical pain.

Everybody hates losing, really, really, really hates it. It ruins you. It eats in your core. You do not get over it easily. You lose sleep.

It is not only the actual outcome that you hate,  it is the process. The fact that you lost when you should have won.

You feel your worst about losing when you are not mentally prepared to compete. Although you may be physically prepared to compete when you are not mentally prepared to compete, you are not prepared.

If you are not prepared mentally then you are not prepared to lose and probably do not know how to deal with it.

When a feeling of loss happens, learning to cope is essential to be able to bounce back.

When you lose something, you go through a period of grieving process which generally starts with denial, then feelings of anger, sadness and then acceptance.

Awareness is important to make sure you are not stuck in any of these stages and that you can process each and move forward.

Do things that positively impact others, engage in meaningful and creative activities, make time for your self-reflection, pay attention to your senses and enjoy simple things with full attention.

And learn to discover new things in life and never lose hope since many people in your situation have been able to pass through it and there is no reason for you not to be able to do the same.