Self-esteem is simply how you feel about yourself and how you judge your worth.
This evaluation has a profound impact on the choices you make since it determines what you consider yourself capable and worthy of doing.
You’re stupid. You’re fat. Nobody likes you. You just make a fool of yourself. You’re worthless.
Low self-esteem is characterized by a lack of confidence and feeling badly about oneself. People with low self-esteem often feel unlovable, awkward, or incompetent.
They tend to be hypersensitive and have a fragile sense of self that can easily be wounded by others. They are hypervigilant and hyperalert to signs of rejection and inadequacy.
They see rejection and disapproval even when there is not any.
The danger waits that they will make a mistake, use poor judgement, do something embarrassing, expose themselves to ridicule, behave immorally or contemptibly.
Life, in all its variety, poses an ongoing threat to their self-esteem. Having a negative perception of oneself has serious consequences.
As observers of your own behavior, thoughts, and feelings, you not only register these phenomena in Consciousness but also pass judgement.
Thus, you may be your most severe critic, berating yourself mercilessly when you find yourself making an error in judgement, forgetting what you should remember, expressing yourself awkwardly, breaking your most sacred promises to yourself, losing your self-control, acting childishly – behaving in ways that you regret and may deplore.
Self-esteem is a state of mind, and it can be changed. However, you can only improve your self-esteem if you are first willing to challenge the negative feelings and judgments you have toward yourself.
No matter how convinced you are of your current evaluation of yourself, you have nothing to lose and the World to gain by considering that you have more control over your self-esteem than you think.
Making the choice to challenge your thinking changes how you think and what you do, now and in the future.
Challenge negative thoughts and stand up to your inner critic. Recognize when you start thinking these kinds of negative thoughts about yourself.
You can choose not to listen to your inner critic’s bad advice.
It can be helpful to imagine how you would feel if someone else was saying these things to you; you would probably feel angry and tell them to shut up or explain that they are wrong about you.
Take this approach in responding to your inner critic. The cure for self-criticism is self-compassion. Self-compassion is the radical practice of treating yourself like a friend!