Masters and Disasters / Meister und Katastrophen / Mestres e Desastres / Maestros y Desastres

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It does not work out for most people. The majority of marriages fail, either ending in divorce and separation or devolving into bitterness and dysfunction.

Of all the people who get married, only three in ten remain in healthy, happy marriages. The masters were still happily together after six years and the disasters had either broken up or were chronically unhappy.

Disasters look calm but their physiology tells a different story, their heart rates were quick, their sweat is active, and their blood flow is fast.

Having a conversation sitting next to their partner is to their bodies like facing off with hungry tiger. Even talking about pleasant facts of their relationships, they are prepared to attack and be attacked.

Masters show low physiological arousal, they feel calm and connected together, which translates into warm and affectionate behavior, even when they are fighting.

It is not that the masters had a better physiological make-up than the disasters; the masters create a climate of trust and intimacy that makes both of them more emotionally and consequentley physically comfortable.

The greatest gift parents can give their children is a happy, stable home environment.