Your situation does not determine your happiness. The way you choose to think and feel about life does. You have the power to be at peace right now.
Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. – Buddha
Principle 1: It is the nature of the universe that everything changes. Every misery, problem, blessing and joy is impermanent.
They come and go, ebb and flow. In every situation you can accurately say ‘this will pass’ because though some situations take longer to change, everything eventually changes.
You can see the truth of this in nature, the seasons and in life and death.
Principle 2: In every moment there will be things in your life that you do not like and wish were not there. You may have health problems, financial problems, a mean neighbor, or a wife who is struggling with Love.
You can experience a great deal of aversion towards these horrible things and their presence in your life.
You can create feelings of misery, anger or self-pity. Your disappointment and frustration towards these circumstances can create suffering.
Principle 3: In every moment of your life there are things you want but do not have. You can have intense and painful cravings for these missing things.
You may have an urge to shop and buy things to feel better, drink alcohol, take drugs, you may obsess over clothes, your house or hobbies, you may watch too much television or overeat.
You may ache because you want a child, to be married or have a better marriage to someone who is more affectionate. All of this can lead to craving, which creates misery and suffering.
Principle 4: In every moment of your life there are great things you do have in your life and are glad you have. You may take these things for granted, though, until you lose them.
When you experience loss, your perspective often shifts and you realize how grateful you were for the blessing. There are countless good things to be grateful for every moment of your life.
Principle 5: In every moment of your life there are bad things that are not in your life, which you are also grateful for. These are often taken for granted until they happen to someone near you.
This causes your perspective to shift and you realize how grateful you are not to have that in your life.
Everything is impermanent and changing, always shifting between these four categories every day, but all four categories always exist in one’s life – all the time.
Your misery or happiness is based on your focus and how you choose to see, feel and think about your life as it is.
This is the one critically important secret of happiness: You are causing your suffering with your craving and aversion towards ‘What is’. You can end your misery right now with a shift in your perspective.
You can choose gratitude and happiness.
It is hard to accept this idea. You will want to believe your circumstances are responsible for your misery.
You will want to be a victim of the situation, but this does not change the truth. You get to decide how happy each moment will be.
Your life will never be perfect. There will always be problems, but you can focus on what is right in your life and understand that everything is here for a perfect reason to help you learn and grow.
Life is a classroom and every experience is here to educate you and teach you Love.
If you want relief from suffering, you will have to focus on what you do have. You must decide to be grateful and happy as things are and refuse to dwell in misery, craving or aversion.
It is not easy to do, though. It is a battle night and day to choose happiness over misery, but you have the power to do this.
As you practice this you will also show up less needy and more confident. You will be able to give acts of service without any strings attached.
There is a chance this change in you could change the environment in your life and relationships, but you can’t start craving this outcome. You must let go of needing or expecting it to be better and be happy now.
If you do not learn how to be grateful and happy in this moment, you may find yourself in a new situation and you may still be unhappy. If you would work on choosing happiness now, it will do one of two things.
It will either create more Love in your life or you will still know that making more drastic changes is right for you, but you will leave with the skills to create happiness wherever you end up.